I Didn't Mean it When I Said That I Hated You!
by Royal Puppet Master
Summary: "I hate you!" The words were ripped from his throat unintentionally. He didn't mean it. He didn't. It wasn't his fault.
1. Chapter 1

"_I hate you!" The words were ripped from his throat unintentionally. He didn't mean it. He didn't. It wasn't his fault. He tried to keep them hidden. He knew he shouldn't feel that way. In fact, he didn't feel that way. He didn't hate him at all. He just didn't love him as he should..._

* * *

"Iggy, hey, Iggy!" America tried to get the other man's attention. He hardly gave him any nowadays. It was his own fault. He had said those dreaded words. He had said those words he didn't mean. It was all his fault.

"America, I'm not in the mood. Please, leave." He could feel his chest start to tighten. He didn't want him to say that. He wanted it to be like old times. He wanted England to speak to him again. Not like he would as though he were an enemy, like he would as a lover. He wanted...

"Yeah... My birthdays tomorrow. It'd be nice if you could come to my party. It's going to be really big. You probably won't even see me, but there's going to be cake and beer and stuff..." He mumbled the words he knew the other didn't care to listen to. It was his fault. His own fault.

"I'll try and find time from my busy schedule." He nodded. That meant England wouldn't be coming. He never did. Most people thought it was because America had gained freedom. No, it wasn't that. It was those _words_. He said he hated England. He didn't. Not really.

"See, you... I guess..." With that he left knowing the other wouldn't follow. Knowing that the other man probably hated him now; that he didn't care about him anymore.

"Yes, I'll see you." America left with that. He wouldn't see him. Not really see him. Not like he wanted to. The only reason he was able to see him today was because of the meeting early. The only way he ever saw him now was through their meetings.

He sighed and started walking back to his home. There was no reason to stay out and about even if he was in the city that never sleeps. Tomorrow he'd be heading down to Virginia for some fire works and his party and then he'd go to his home in the country side. He did it that way every year. Nothing changed. Nothing stayed the same.

He arrived home like usual and walked into his empty house save for his alien friend who was already asleep by now. That wasn't anything new.

America headed upstairs to his bedroom. He really should have taken a shower... He didn't really feel like it now, plus, he could always grab one in the morning before he caught his flight down to Washington D.C.

Slipping into his bed he sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that evening. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy visiting his old guardian, it was just the way the man never would look at him. It was his own fault. He said those words...

Closing his eyes he willed for sleep to come to no avail. It never did anyway. Only on brief occasions when he took a small nap during the day is when sleep would actually take him. He wish for it, though. He wish for it.

Opening his eyes he stared at the blurry ceiling trying for see the designs. He never could. Canada told him about that lasik surgery, but he never would try it. He got along fine so far, he didn't need it.

Still as he could be while trying to sleep he looked at the window. He saw something falling. A shooting star perhaps... No, probably just an air plane... Still, it couldn't' hurt to try.

He closed his eyes and made a wish.

"_I wish that England would not hate me anymore and that we could finally get together like lovers."_

Hopefully it worked... He doubted it would, but somewhere in him he recalled the story of the first women, Pandora, and finally, he was able to fall asleep.

Waking up he grabbed a shower and went to the airport to make his flight. He didn't even bother hurrying. He had his own airplane.

He passed through customs and went to get on his flight not even remembering the wish he had made the night before...

His flight was a short one, about an hour and thirty minutes. He arrived at the gate no problems and left his plane heading towards the white house to see the president.

It was tradition to see the president every July fourth. He didn't really mind it either. Most presidents just treated him like an extra child that's already left the nest.

"I'm here!" He called out knowing it would just be a matter of seconds before he saw the man behind the desk.

"Alfred! There you are. Happy birthday. I have a present for you." He smiled at the president. Always the same. Each one of them bought him a gift, but it wasn't ever what he really wanted. No, he couldn't have what he really wanted.

"Cool! Whaddya get me this year, old man?" He found himself asking just to be polite. He was long past caring what he received for his birthday nowadays.

"Open it and find out." He was handed a medium sized box with colorful wrapping. He opened it.

"Wow! Sweet! I've been wanting this game!" He exclaimed, though, he really didn't care for it. He had another one at his house out to the western part of himself... Odd as it sounds...

"I thought you'd like it. You're going to be staying here tonight and so is your party. We've already prepared all the rooms." He gave his most excited smile to the man.

"Awesome! And..." He didn't have the heart to ask if England would be there or not.

"Ah, my secretary informed me that Mister England will be coming." Alfred stood wide-eyed for a moment taking in what the president had just told him.

"Really?" He couldn't help but ask to see if the man was jerking his leg.

"Yes, really. Now go get ready for your party." He nodded and practically ran to his room. It's a wonder none of the presidents ever questioned why he liked the elder nation so much. Then again, they probably didn't suspect that their country was gay... Man, that would cause a lot of trouble if the nation ever found out.

He found himself in the room he used many a time getting dressed in his best outfit, which was just a suit but England always had told him he looked good in them.

A soft knock at the door startled him and he found himself opening it without questioning who was there.

"Alfred, look at you! You don't want to wear that old one. Here, I've bought you a new one." He smiled as the first lady handed him a new suit. It was a stylish one at that. He thanked her and went to put it on. Honestly, she was such a nice woman.

Checking himself out in the mirror he sighed and braced himself for his party. England would be there. It would probably be his only chance to actually see the other man for a while and he wanted to make a good impression. Hell, he was going to try and confess tonight if at all possible.

"Alright, boy-o, let's get this show on the road." The words were said to himself, but, for some odd reason, he felt that if he wanted this night to be perfect they needed to be said.

He headed out onto the front yard where he saw many different nations waiting to celebrate his birthday. Looking around to see if he could find the one he really wanted to talk to he grabbed a drink.

"Bonjour, Amerique." Alfred turned to look at France.

"Hey, France, glad you could make it. Have you seen England around anywhere?" He asked trying not to sound too hopeful. Apparently that didn't work because the man just chuckled like he knew exactly what was going on through Alfred's head.

"Non, I have not. Try China." Briefly he took a second to locate China. When he saw him he politely excused himself from France in favor of finding England.

"China, glad you could make it. You seen Iggy?" China looked him over for a minute then pointed towards the direction by the food table. Alfred found himself running over there when he saw his former guardian.

"Iggy! Hey, Iggy! Glad ya could make it!" He exclaimed while he gave a bear hug to the man.

"Gah! America, you're crushing me!" He let the man out of the hug to give a few seconds of breathing.

"Sorry, it's just that you never come to my birthday parties." Not only that, but he never even speaks to him anymore. It's his fault. It's his own fault.

"Yes, well there is a reason for everything you git." The other nation said and he could feel his smile deflating being replaced by tears.

"Yeah... Hey, will you come with me for a minute. I wanna talk to you alone." He could already feel his tears start to well up in his eyes, but he kept them from falling as he took the other's hand and led him to his room.

"America! Stop running! I can't keep up!" He didn't even hear the words as he was too focused on getting him alone so he could explain those horrible _words_ that fell from his mouth all those years ago.

Finally, they made it to his bedroom and he pulled England inside forcing him to sit on his bed.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" England yelled as he fell onto the bed.

"I didn't mean it! I didn't mean it. I'm sorry! I didn't mean it! Please forgive me! I didn't mean it." The tears that he had kept in his eyes started to fall as he crumbled into a ball beside the other man's feet. He couldn't stop himself from saying he didn't mean it, that he was sorry.

"What are you talking about?" He looked up at the man who looked just as he did when he was younger.

"I love you." These new words that he really did mean poured from his lips before he could stop them. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. He wasn't supposed to say it like this. He was supposed to say it right after the firework were done.

"Wha? What do you mean?" His heart almost broke right there, but he kept it together trying listen to the other's words.

"I love you! I don't hate you! I could never hate you! It's wrong and dirty and I shouldn't feel this way, that's why I said that I hated you, but I don't! I could never hate you, England, I love you!" He started screaming it feeling his tears stop and start to dry on his cheeks.

"America-" He paused for a moment as America scowled, "Alfred, look at me."

"No, I don't wanna." He replied quite childishly. In retrospect, he was still a child. He was just a child in and adult's body.

"Alfred, look at me." England said in a stern voice that made him pout and look up at the smiling man.

"What?" England started laughing at him. Laughing!

"Come sit by me, boy." Picking himself up, he sat beside good humored man.

"What." As soon as the words left his mouth he felt lips on his own and suddenly he felt so small.

"You are an idiot." Blinking for a moment it took a while for his brain to register exactly what the other said.

"What?" Clearly he wasn't reading the atmosphere and for once in his life he wished he could.

"I love you too, you git." Not a thought could make it's way into his head right then as he took in the words of his elder.

"You love... _me_?" He asked with skepticism as the man nodded.

"Yes, I love you. I love Alfred F. Jones, self proclaimed hero and the biggest fool in the world." There was a pause before Alfred leaned in almost kissing him, but not quite there.

"So, basically, you're my damsel that I fight to the death for?" He whispered not quite sure if that was the right thing to say or not.

"Yeah, and you're my hero and since you're the hero and you've just rescued me from an awful party I think you deserve a kiss." Alfred was going to argue that his parties are always awesome and that England's were lame, but he soon forgot about his argument due to a pair of lips on his own.

It was sloppy and wet, but by far the best kiss England had ever had. Perhaps that was because of the person kissing him for he had no other explanation for why it felt so good when it was so terrible.

The kiss broke when they both found themselves in need of air.

Sky blue met emerald green for what seemed like eternity before they moved in for another kiss.

This time England could feel a probing tongue at the bottom of his lip. He opened his mouth slightly to let the timid tongue into his mouth.

Cautiously Alfred rubbed his tongue at the bottom of Arthur's lip and was absolutely delighted when he felt that wonderful cavern open barely.

Unsure of what to do next, he hadn't ever kissed anyone before, he rubbed his tongue along the other's in a slight experiment. Hearing a small moan from his ministrations he continued to do it hoping for more noises.

Arthur let out a small moan when Alfred slid his tongue against his own. He had done this countless times and to find that the other held so little experience made him excited. He loved knowing that his former colony had never been with anyone before and that he was going to be the boy's first.

They broke for air and Alfred stared at the other not quite sure what to do. He was still a virgin and those had been his first kisses.

"Let's stop." Arthur found himself saying knowing it would be for the best. Obviously the other truly wasn't ready for this.

"What? Why?" Alfred started to panic. Had he done something wrong?

"Alfred, sometimes it's best to know your limits." Alfred still looked confused and he felt utterly hopeless. Arthur really was rejecting him.

"Sorry. I won't kiss you again so... So, please don't hate me." At that point he was promptly smacked.

"Git, you're not ready yet. That doesn't mean I hate you. I want to be in a relationship with you. I just don't think it would be in your best interest if we had sex right now."

"Oh, okay." Then he started to smile that goofy smile of his. "So, does this mean we're going out now?" He couldn't help but ask.

"Yes, now let's go back to the party before people start wondering where the guest of honor is."

"'Sure thing!" Alfred jumped up excitedly grabbing Arthur by his hand and started running out to the front yard. It's amazing no one ever scolded him for running in the White House.

"Damn it, Alfred! I can't keep up!" Alfred just laughed and kept on running.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers.

A.N./ Tell me if you think I should continue this. Honestly I think I might even if I don't get the requests, but then again it'll take me a while to do it too.


	2. Chapter 2

Six months later...

* * *

Alfred sat in England's house just merely enjoying the company. They never really did anything together, well, they went on dates, but he meant DID anything if you caught his drift.

"Hey, Iggy, can I get a kiss?" The elder rolled his eyes at the mockery Alfred had managed to make of his wonderful language.

"Only if you ask the correct way."

"May I receive a kiss?" Alfred had started pouting. Sometimes England was such a sour puss.

"You may, but you must come and get it.~" The sing song tone in his voice made Alfred feel as though he was speaking to Russia instead of his lover... boyfriend... thingamajig? Yeah, thingamajig suited him the most considering he couldn't use lover when they had yet to do the loving and boyfriend just seemed so teenage girl.

Alfred slowly made his way across the room to his thingamajig until he finally reached him and pulled him into a passionate kiss. That's all he ever received, a kiss. Of course he wanted more, but they always ended up stopping before they had actually began.

They broke apart for some much needed air and Alfred looked at him hoping that the other would get the hint and continue, but of course the other didn't and just looked away and continued doing what he had been doing before which was absolutely nothing but enjoying Alfred's company. Ugh, he could be enjoying it in another way, but he didn't think Alfred was ready. No, of course not. He would never be ready. Especially after England had caught him with his own fingers touching himself in that spot while jerking off. He still wasn't ready.

"England." The other didn't respond and Alfred almost decided to beat his head against the wall, almost. He was going to, but then he had an idea. A most wonderful idea if he did say so himself.

"Arthur.~" He made sure to make his voice extra sugar coated to make sure he could put his plan into action.

"Alfred." Alright, so he had the other's attention. Now he just had to keep it...

"Do you think you could follow me to the basement for a minute or two. I have something I'd love to show you." He knew it was a good idea that he had kept that stop sign and implanted it into the cement of the basement floor.

"For goodness sake, Alfred, what could you possibly want to show me in the basement of all places?" Arthur huffed and Alfred just smirked.

"It's a surprise!" He exclaimed gleefully leading the other towards the cellar.

"It'd better not be a damn frog again or I swear you'll never see the light of day again, git..." Alfred just laughed not denying it or else the other would know he had something up his sleeve.

He turned on the light and went to the stereo he was forced to keep down here because he turned it up impossibly loud.

"Hey, Arthur, go sit on that chair near the stop sign." While he managed to find the perfect song for this and gawd that was easier than it sounded. Exactly how do you find the perfect strip-tease song for some stuffy, old man. Not that Arthur was THAT old.

"Perfect!" That received a curious look from the elder of the two.

"What?" Alfred couldn't suppress the smirk that adorned his face when the other asked that simple question.

"You'll see. Now wait here, I'll be right back." He was about to run off when he remembered the other would see what he had planned when he came back and he didn't want him to know what was going on until he actually had the music playing.

"Since this is a surprise I'm going to blind fold you. Don't take it off." He gave a small pout to his soon to be lover to ensure that the man would do exactly as he asked seeing as how he could never deny Alfred when he gave him that puppy dog look.

Easily enough, he put the blind fold on the other and ran off without a second thought as his mind was set on putting on the perfect outfit for this.

He knew being friends with Japan and cosplaying would pay off eventually. Quickly he put on the school girl outfit he had used when he and Kiku had dressed up from that one anime that he couldn't tell you the name of for the life of him.

Looking in the mirror he was absolutely perfect. The button up shirt with a bow and the short skirt only added to the perfection of his outfit.

Without a hitch, he ran down stairs again to see Arthur waiting patiently for him to begin whatever bull he was planning.

He almost wished he could video tape this... That actually was a good idea. So, he sat up the video camera and then turned on the music.

"Take off the blind fold now, Arthur." Alfred said in what he hoped was a seductive voice.

The other did as he was told and boy oh boy did he get a sight to behold.

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

Slowly did he make his way to his stop sign that was going to function as a makeshift stripper pole.

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

Carefully he slid down the 'pole' and back up while giving Arthur a look that would send any mortal man to his grave.

Typical  
Hardly the type I fall for  
I like when the physical  
Don't leave me asking for more  
I'm a sexy mama (mama)  
Who knows just how to get what I wanna (wanna)  
What I want to do is spring this on you (on you)  
Back up all of the things that I told you (told you)

Cue taking off the bow that adorned his neck.

You've been saying all the right things all night long  
But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off  
Baby, can't you see? (see)  
How these clothes are fitting on me (me)  
And the heat coming from this beat (beat)  
I'm about to blow  
I don't think you know

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

Alfred started grinding against the pole right about now while unbuttoning his shirt. The look Arthur was giving him was delicious.

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

You say you're a big boy  
But I can't agree  
'Cause the love you said you had  
Ain't been put on me  
I wonder (wonder)  
If I'm just too much for you  
Wonder (wonder)

Finally he had that damned shirt off and was working at his skirt. Damn, dancing and stripping wasn't as easy as it looked...

If my kiss don't make you just  
Wonder (wonder)  
What I got next for you  
What you want to do? (do)

Take a chance to recognize that this could be yours  
I can see, just like most guys that your game don't please  
Baby, can't you see? (see)  
How these clothes are fitting on me (me)  
And the heat coming from this beat (beat)  
I'm about to blow  
I don't think you know

Yeah! He got the damned skirt off! Major accomplishment since his thingamajig was drooling over his body now.

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

Come on baby, loosen up my buttons babe  
Loosen up my buttons babe  
Baby, won't you loosen up my buttons babe?  
Loosen up my buttons babe

He wasn't sure if he was supposed to rid his under garments now or if he should keep dancing so off came the panties!

Come on baby, loosen up my buttons babe  
Loosen up my buttons babe  
Baby, won't you loosen up my buttons babe?  
Loosen up my buttons babe

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)  
(Ah-ah-ah)  
I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

Alfred didn't even see what was coming as Arthur practically jumped him from behind when he was doing a trick he once saw a gal do on the pole.

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby (Uh huh)  
But you keep fronting (Uh)  
Saying what you going to do to me (Uh huh)  
But I ain't seen nothing (Uh)

"A-Arthur?" He could feel the other's hard on pressing into his back and he couldn't say he wasn't turned on by it.

"You know I've been restraining myself for the past six months waiting for you to be ready, but when you lay it all out on the table for me, well, how could I possibly refuse such a delicious treat, hm?"

"Hah?" Arthur started nibbling at his ear and Alfred couldn't suppress the whimper that escaped him. His ear had always been a weak spot of his.

"Don't play dumb. You know what I mean." Arthur proceeded to move down Alfred chest to an already pert nipple. He gave a teasing lick and started moving down again to another part of Alfred's anatomy that he was sure would enjoy some attention from his tongue.

"A-Arthur?" Alfred questioned when he saw the man lower himself even more until he was face to face with Florida.

"Yes, Alfred?" Arthur decided to skip teasing the head and just settled to deep throat the boy on the first shot.

"OH GAWD!" He smirked at the other. Funny how that's the first thing he thought of when Arthur decided to give him a special service.

"Arthur!" Fingers proceeded to Alfred's lips and he hesitantly let them in all the while moaning against them at what the other was doing with his tongue. Oh gawd, that tongue!

Arthur waited until his fingers were thoroughly coated before pulling them out of that warm cavern to another that he wanted to be in very, very soon.

Alfred whined when his lover's mouth left his member and a finger found itself inside of him.

"Hush, love, the best part is soon to come." That earned Arthur a glare as Alfred felt another finger push itself inside of him.

Too soon those fingers pulled out and something else replaced them.

"This might hurt a bit." That was the only warning before a big, hot thing was pressed inside of him and he almost screamed, but bit it back at the last moment. This was what he had wanted anyway.

"Shh, shh. It's alright. Just relax." Even with the soothing words Arthur was whispering it wasn't helping all that much until he actually listened.

"Move." The other obliged all too quickly and started thrusting in and out at a gentle pace creating a steady rhythm.

It was almost as though the other was searching for something as the thrust kept going in different directions.

"ARTHUR! Oh _fuck_! Do that again." The other smirked, but Alfred chose to ignore it in favor of feeling something much more pleasurable.

"Faster! Please, _gawd_ faster!" He kept moaning and panting and he could feel that he was close. So damn _close_. He just needed-

Right about that moment Arthur remembered his forgotten prick and decided that it needed some much appreciated attention.

"AH!" Alfred saw stars as he came feeling himself clamp up and then something warm fill him.

They both let themselves fall to the ground as they had been standing up throughout this whole endeavor.

They lay there for a bit catching their breath and basking in the after glow.

"A-Arthur, I need to tell you something."

"Hm?"

"Camera! The camera. Go take care of it before someone like France finds it or something."

"Who cares? It's just proof that I've finally claimed all of you and plus, I want to keep that strip-tease on camera for future reference."

* * *

With that they lived happily ever after.

"Arthur, you old, pervert!" Alfred screeched.

….Semi-happily ever after...

* * *

A.N./ Okay, well that's it. I hope you enjoyed it and sorry for the long wait. Had to get my mojo back and realise that I had forgotten about this. ^^ Review and if you have any requests I will take them.


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